Air Force Football

Air Force Academy vs. UNLV football game 2011

            Since I work at the Hampton Inn & Suites Air Force Academy here in Colorado Springs, I get to go to a lot of the Air Force football games. I went to three this year: San Diego, Army, and UNLV. The stadium is huge and it is always so much fun to go to the games. I was so excited when my boss gave me three tickets to go to the Air Force-Army game. I was waiting all year for that game, and I wasn't sure if I could get tickets or not. Thank goodness I have an awesome boss who bought me three!! I almost cried when he told me! I invited Greg and Julie to come down and go with me. Unfortunately, Army lost...but I was still cheering for them (that was the only game I was against Air Force). Lauri Bumann is our Assistant GM, and she always goes with me to these games. I love her! She is like a second mom to me. I am excited for the games next year! 

The Cadets marching in for the National Anthem. I cry every time they march in. I miss MY soldier!

The love the parachuetters!! Everyone in the stadium looks to the sky for the fly over of the jets, and then right after that four cadet parachuetters jump out of a plane. Each of them carrying a different flag (Air Force, American, Colorado, and then the opposing team's flag). They actually land right in the middle of the field...amazing! This is probably my favorite part about the Air Force football games. 

Well Said...

A few things I have learned to know

"As I forced my hands to unfurl from his neck, feeling the familiar sting in my nose as tears pushed against my will, the words rattled and echoed in my brain. “Not again.”

I watched him walk away–that uniform, identifiable gait—and my heart bent and splintered as the reality of a third deployment began to shower over me.

I picked up the phone, dialing the numbers my numb fingers always meander toward, and sat in silence while she tried to ease my pain. “I can’t imagine…He will be home….I’m here.”

And then she said six words that shot through my ears, penetrated my brain, and stiffened my spine: “You know how to do this.”

She was right. I do know how to do this. I intimately know the all-too familiar lump in my throat. The year of being both father and mother, making the best of a situation. I know exactly how one year feels  as I X each day off my calendar. And I know how to ensure that while our lives are on hold, we still live.
The truth is I know a lot:

• The thought of being alone for a year doesn’t bother me. The fear of being alone for a lifetime—does.

• Flat rate boxes can hold twenty whoopee cushions, four kindergarten projects, and five perfume-scented letters.

• Technology can be a double-edged sword—one side delivering his face; the other a brutal live-action feed of explosions and camouflaged body parts.

• Murphy’s Law is a constant companion. The moment he walks out the door, anything that can break, collapse, bleed, or explode–will .

• Five hours of uninterrupted sleep is a gift from the deployment gods

• Holidays are hard, but manageable.

• Deployments come and go, but sand from his boots never leaves.

• Nothing can replace a handwritten letter. Through those beautifully folded pages, he is holding my hand again.

• When the National Anthem is played, I know goosebumps will rise on my arms, and a lump will fill my throat.

• The silence in communication following a war zone attack is agonizing.

• Laughter is a powerful ally.

• Each deployment offers two options: grow or regress. This is a choice.

• Cereal is always a dinner option.

• Videos of lost teeth, ballerina recitals, and preschool graduations can be emailed to Iraq nearly instantly.

• Five powers of attorney and the intimate details of his will are needed to navigate a deployment.

• White out blizzards can actually bury a truck in five minutes.

• Rosie the Riveter was right: We can do it.

• Children cling to hope and the promise of tomorrow.

• Living in each moment together is possible when facing the fear that it could be your last.

• Welcome home kisses are sweeter than the finest chocolate.

• Anger will grip me and depression can hold me, but another military spouse will steady me.

• A six-year-old child can feel the absence of her father so deeply that she can suffer from clinical depression.

• A military spouse will often hold her/his tongue, silencing a story, for fear of sounding “unpatriotic.”

• The sound of a bugle can make my heart swell with pride or collapse in sorrow.

• Duct tape and a monkey wrench can fix nearly anything.

• Despite the protestors and those who tell me I “knew” what I was getting into, I know there are countless American citizens who will go above and beyond to show they support us.

There are many things I know.
I know how to change the brakes on my truck, rappel from the side of a cliff, shoot a double-barreled shotgun, balance a checkbook, earn my keep, and kiss a child enough to feel like two.
But there are still so many things I don’t know.

• I don’t know how to start my heart again when I see a death notification car on my street.

• When that knock echoes on the door of my neighbor, I don’t know how to forgive myself when I am relieved.

• I don’t know how to hug him enough to last a lifetime, or kiss him just so in order to feel satisfied—should our reunion be at the foot of a pine box.

• I’m not willing to learn how to pretend he doesn’t exist, to keep him out of our life while it goes on without him, or to build a wall so high he has no way to scale it.

• I don’t know how to stop his panic attacks, and I have no idea how to make my nightmares of rampant bombs and lifeless limbs disappear.

• I don’t know how to adjust to his presence in my house when our floor rarely feels the weight of his boots.

• I don’t know how to tell his small children that, yes, he leaves them all the time. But because he loves them so deeply, he is willing to die to keep them free.

• I can’t understand those who would question my desire to stay with him, or how I can peacefully sleep beside a “killer.”

• I am amazed and confounded that despite all he has seen, he still has the courage to laugh.

• I don’t’ know how to give up on my family.

But, most importantly:
I have no clue how to still my pounding heart when he finally walks through our door again, I don’t know how to pull my hands from his sand-stained neck and say goodbye, and I don’t know how to ever walk away from a man who stands while many choose to sit.

7251 Countryside Grove

Yay for projects for me! I had to tell Jared before he left that there might be a few changes done to the house before he gets back. He was ok with that plan as long as I promised not to get too crazy. I was so proud of the front door decorations, because now when I get back from a long day at work, I feel like I am coming home to a welcoming house. If that makes sense? I bought the welcome mat at Bed Bath & Beyond, and the door hangings are from Chris Strank's fun craft store. You all should be so proud of me..I put the bench together all by myself! I really have had to step up my handy skills since Jared left. I think when you have to rely on only yourself to do things, your mind already tells you you can do anything.

I finally was able to find the clear stuff for the window. We had paper taped up to the window before I did this. It was super tacky looking at that everyday, and I had enough. I had to measure out the perfect amount..and hey it looks good! Much better than the paper taped to the wall. I only hope Jared likes it...

I knew the day we got married that Jared had to leave in May. So I had some time to ask all the questions I could think of about how to handle a house by myself. Jared, my dad, and Greg taught me everything I needed to know. I was kind of nervous to handle everything in the house alone, but I have managed everything so far. I made a list of everything I wanted to get done before this deployment was over, and I am only half way done. I am really independent, and I hate asking for help. I see it as a weakness that I can't do things on my own just because I am girl..I am weird I know, but I hate when people help me. So here is to figuring out things on my own! I also posted the picture of the knobs I put on the cabinets. I found Jared's power tools in his truck and I went straight to work. I'm not going to lie..I want my own set of power tools now!! It was fun drilling those in, and it has been a blast doing odd end things to our house when I have time. The one and only thing I ABSOLUTELY HATE doing is changing out the air filter. Oh my gosh I have give myself a pep talk every time before going down the tunnel!! It is dark, dusty, and I have to walk crouching down to even get to the filter. Not to mention I am deathly scared of spiders. I got it done in about 2 minutes yesterday. That is record time! I only have to do it a few more times and then that can be Jared's job :)

 Between work, Titan and Tundra, scouts, and the house...I feel pretty busy most days! Here are a few pictures to prove that I am staying proactive  :)

Titan and Tundra

As much as these hyper-active wolf dogs drive me crazy, I still absolutely love them. They keep my time occupied, and they help keep me entertained. Just right when I want to kill them, they both come snuggle up next to me on the couch and fall asleep. Then I go back to loving them again.

We first only got Titan (the one on the rigt) initially. Then Jared BEGGED me to go back with him a week later to get one more...the very last one! I could not even believe he was asking me for another one. I thought he was crazy. (I still think he is crazy) We finally made an agreement, that if he didn't get a new truck after his deployment then he could get one more dog before he left. That is fair enough right? 

So now we have two German Shepard/ Wolf mixes. We can't tell our neighbors the wolf part because they would freak out. They already HATE dogs as it is, so we just keep that information to ourselves.

Titan is our very obedient one. He is a people pleaser, and will do anything for a treat. He really is a lot of fun to train one-on-one. Tundra on the other hand...he could care less about being obedient. He is our "special dog"..ya know a window licker. We love him anyway, but wow is he a handful!! I thought about getting rid of him, but everytime I think about giving him up it makes me so sad. I would never go through with it. I have never been attached to animals before, but this situation is so different. They are my only sort of company and entertainment in the house while Jared is gone. They keep me so busy, and I am so glad that Jared decided to get them for us!

I Can't Say Goodbye

There is nothing more that needs to be said after watching this video. The lyrics really speak for themselves. Every military wife can relate to the feelings of this song!! I have been extrememly lucky in the fact that Jared and I have been able to talk on a regular basis. Unfortunately that has now changed. Every phone call is just as important as the one before, but now it will be much harder to say goodbye...

  

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN

I can't believe that ten years has already gone by. Ten years ago today I was only in the 6th grade, and I had abosolutely no idea what the World Trade Centers even were. Robyn was in the shower, and I was out doing my hair in front of the mirror. I heard my mom scream from upstairs and all of a sudden freak out. I hurry and ran upstairs to see what the heck was wrong with her. She was bawling! I remember turning to the tv were she was frantically staring. All I could really understand was that our country was being attacked and that this was something I was going to remember for forever. I ran back downstairs to tell Robyn and she immediately grabbed a towel and ran upstairs with me. We all stood together with my dad in the living room, all in awe of something we had absolutely no control over. For weeks the pictures of the terrorists haunted me. I'm not going to lie, I was scared everytime I saw their pictures. Even as a 6th grader, I felt sad, and helpless for those people involved. Now ten years later, I know that our country has pulled together to ensure that this will never happens again. I am proud to be an American!

September 11th has a lot of meaning to Jared. This is why he joined the Army in the first place, and he actually joined shortly after his high school graduation. I am a very proud Army wife to have my husband serving our country to fight for our freedoms. It is because of soldiers like Jared, that we can all say WE ARE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!