Dear Future Military Husband--

One of the Army wives I hang out with, and an extremely close friend, wrote this piece. It is so amazing, and it made me cry, because of how truthful it really is. I can relate to this in almost every aspect. These are her exact words, and I think everyone should read this...especially those who are new to the military. I love it! GO LAURA!

"I watch a lot of crap TV. I do. I own that. Wanna know what happened on Teen Mom, call me. Wanna get the run down on Survivor, the Amazing Race or Big Brother, all you gotta do is hollllaaa. Don't even get me started about The Shore. I've been watching a lot of Mob Wives lately. And the more I watch the more I think...these crazy bitches are closer to my reality than any other show.

And I know what you are thinking...seriously Laura, wise guys and soldiers are no where NEAR in the same league. And in some respects that's completely correct. But sit and listen to those women talk about things using "code", listen to them talk about how they live a "lifestyle", watch them cope with marriages falling apart due to distance, see their faces when they get a phone call. Those things, those are MY everyday experiences.

How many of my Army wife friends out there have told their mother "he'll be back from 'blankets' 10 days before my birthday in the month my 2nd son was born". How many have been asked "how do you do that? Be apart for so long?" and your only response is "it's just our life. I choose to be with him so this is what I do".

So that brings me around to the point of all this. Sometimes, when you marry into "our lifestyle", you are completely unprepared. I read a blog not too long ago called Dear Future Military Wife (read it here), and I thought it was brilliant. It summed up anything I could ever think to say to someone marrying a military man. It said things I can only WISH I would have thought to say to some of my newly married friends. But I was also thinking that someone needs to tell those guys, that marry these naive girls, things they should do to help prepare her for what with surely be the best, worst, most awesome, horrific experience of her existence. And since this is my blog, well I'm gonna lay it all out there...

Dear Future Military Husband,

Congratulations! You are getting married!! What an exciting time for you! Filled with love, hope, happiness and...trepidation. It's scary to think that you are responsible for someone else. So it's your job to make sure she is prepared. Educate her.

You have to tell her a few basic things. Starting with your duty station. Explain to her about your division. About your brigade. About your battalion. About your company. Your platoon. Your squad. Your team. Show her where you work. What you do.

Help her make friends. Introduce her to your coworkers. And introduce her to their wives. Encourage her to try out the FRG, even if you heard its awful. Let her make that decision. Encourage her to join the Enlisted Spouses Club. Or the officers wives club. She can have 750 million "civilian" friends but one good fellow military wife will trump all those people in a second.

If you are deployed, teach her OPSEC. Tell her its not ok to put information about you on her Facebook page. That she can't have a countdown that says only 43 more days...only 42 more days...only 41 more days. Can she say "I love tomorrow" ABSOLUTELY! Can she say "OMG my hubby is coming home tomorrow at 730!!!" No. But she doesn't know this unless you tell her!!

Remind her that mail service is slow, at best, and the Internet is inconsistent. Sometimes you won't talk to her for hours, days, weeks at a time. make sure she knows you are going to miss Christmas and birthdays and anniversaries and the birth of children. Its not fair, and none of us like it, but its unavoidable. Tell her you can NOT spend all day day online waiting for HER to get on. You have a job to focus on. And on the other hand, she has a job too. Whether its an actual working out of the house job, a going to school for a better education job, a managing the household job. Sometimes she doesn't have time to sit around all day and just wait for you to get online. Life doesn't stop on the home front, just because you are not here. Let her live, let her breathe, let her be an adult.

Know that "those" wives, the ones that whore around any chance they get, are the exception, NOT the rule. It takes a pretty awesome woman to marry you. It does. Not everyone has the patience for this. But if you married her, you know SHE does. She is the RULE. Don't treat her like the exception.

Tell her no matter how many moves, in how many years, home is where you make it. "Home" is not always where you are from, where your parents live, where granny and gramps live. "Home is where the Army sends you" was such a major theme of the first 13 years of my marriage. And its true. It's all true. I know women who can make a home of a spacious 5 bedroom single family house on a military installation and I know women who can make a home of a 1 bedroom apartment in a not so fantastic neighborhood. Every new assignment brings around new places to explore, new food to taste, new friends to find. Embrace that. Teach her that moving isn't scary its an adventure! Plus there is the whole upside of having someone else do all that packing for you. =)

Reassure her that even though conversations may be short, time together may be sparse, that she is always in your heart. The things your do are for her, to better her life, to better YOUR life. Never hang up the phone, or sign off an IM or end an email without saying "I love you", you never know when the next time you get to tell her will be, so do it every time.

And I'm sure there are so many more things I could tell you to help her, but hopefully, you'll know what to do. Maybe you'll even have a more experienced, higher ranked guy around who can show your the ropes. Maybe you'll have a soldier in your platoon or your squad who has been married a few years and has been right where you are sitting and he can offer a little advice. My wish for you, as I close this out, is a life full of happiness, short deployments, easy moves, smiley babies, awesome neighbors, great duty assignments and a fantastic slice of pizza =)"

Flowers from a guest :)

When I first told Jared that a guest at work gave me flowers, he was a little shocked. It was really funny to hear his reaction. A few nights ago, this old guy called in late, and in a panic because his flight was getting delayed due to weather. He was going to have to change hotels to Salt Lake for the night where his flight was delayed. Long story short, I called and set up a new reservation for him at the Hampton Inn SLC Airport for the night. The next day I overheard his name from the back office, and so I went out and greeted him and told him how happy I was to see him here! He was the sweetest old guy. That following afternoon, I was told that a guest was waiting for me in the lobby, so I go out of the office to see who it was....it was this old guy holding a dozen roses!! He told me how grateful he was that I was so nice in helping him in a stressful situation at the airport. This was his way of thanking me. He was such a sweetheart, and the flowers were totally a surprise. This just made my whole day to think that people actually appreciate the good things I do for them.

Wisdom Teeth

Even with Jared gone, I had to have my three wisdom teeth pulled. They were really crowding my mouth, and I didn't want to wait til after the deployment to have them pulled. I honestly had such a great experience with everything. My appointment was on a Friday at 4 (so the last appointment of the day). My dentist numbed my mouth and the next thing I knew...all three teeth were out. I asked him, "Is that it??" I couldn't believe how quick and painless it was. After the appointment I went to straight to Walgreens to pick up my pain medicine. Once I am at the counter, the gal at the counter says that she can't fill the prescription because the doses don't match on the paperwork. I am thinking AHHH my dentist has already gone home for the day!! After about a half hour of waiting for my dentist to call back (I left messages on his emergency line), I finally went home. I cried the whole way home because I was so worried that the numbness was going to go away and that I would be in unbelieveable pain. After being home for about an hour, I got a call from my dentist!! He called Walgreens to clarify the dosage, and I was finally able to get some medicine in me. After taking the pain meds that night, I went to sleep. With no pain. I woke up. NO PAIN. So I took another pill just in case the pain would come...BAD MISTAKE!! I drank a fresh fruit smoothie right before that, and then all of a sudden my hands were sweating, my head was spinning, I was extremely fatigue, couldn't stand, and was very nausus. About 20 minutes I threw up...pretty much fruit in reverse is so gross. After throwing up twice that day due to the pain meds, I decided not to take anymore. I still to this day have not ANY pain whatsoever.  At least I had a few days off of work that weekend. I was busy with scouts and house searching for a friend, etc...but I honestly feel so blessed. I felt very comforted the whole time, and I feel as if God was really watching over me. I know that Jared was really worried about me, but I knew that I would be just fine taking care of myself. I have been doing it for so long, that it just comes naturally now. Now no more dentist visits for at least another six months :)

Valentine's Day

One of these years Jared and I will be able to spend Valentine's Day with each other. Last year Jared was in Louisanna for JRTC for all of February, and then the year before that we had only started to date. This deployment has been so much easier than I thought it would be...due to five ladies: Laura Johansson, Taylor Lanthier, Rachel Abair, Angelica Medrano, and Shelley Prescott. All their husband's are in Jared's platoon too, so they are all deployed together. We started to do a "Sunday Family Dinner". We all get together every Sunday at 5:30PM. We still get together a few times during the week, but if we can't, we always know that every Sunday we will see each other. They are the best support system that I could have ever asked for. They all totally undestand exactly how I am feeling. I get to share the good with the bad, and they always seem to comfort me. We all come from TOTALLY different backgrounds. They know I am a Mormon, and yet they don't care. I know they drink and party, but yet I don't care. I feel as if our difference have made our relations much stronger.

This Valentine's Day was actually really fun. We all got together at ITZ here in Colorado Springs. There is a food buffet, and then there's a hurge game room. The kids LOVE to go there! Here are a few pictures of all us Army wives :)

Super Bowl Sunday

Go Giants!! All of us Army wives got together for a Super Bowl party last Sunday. Laura is a HUGE Giants fan, so she gave us all jerseys to wear for the game. The game would have been much better if the husbands were there, but we always have such a great time together. I love these ladies to death!!

Visiting Teaching Rocks!!

Can I just say how much I absolutely love visiting teaching!! Last night I went to two sisters in my ward. They both really intimidated me at church and at activities for some reason. When I found out that they were the ones I am supposed to go visit teach I was not too excited. They both have kids, and it just seemed like they didn't care to be friendly to me because I was some stupid young girl. I really wanted to go visiting teaching to get to know more ladies in the ward, so I just called them to set up an appointment....now after knowing them...I LOVE THEM BOTH!! Wow they are great women and it turns out I have so much in common with both of them on different levels. I relate to one, because she is kind of shy to new people, and worries about what others think of her. I am totally that way!! She was so much fun to talk to. Then the second sister I go to is shy at first too, but her husband is in the military. So I feel like naturally we have a lot to talk about. I stayed at each house for about hour. Time went by so fast, and I can honestly say how happy I was on my way home. I never really liked to go visiting teaching in my college wards, because I was always hanging out with anyway so I didn't see the need. I understand more the importance of visiting teaching now. I honestly feel like I am supposed to go see these sisters. Not only for them, but for MEEEEEE. I am so excited to go see them again next month!